How do I say no to plans without feeling guilty?

Dear Already in My Comfortable Clothes,

You have confused declining an invitation with applying for parole.

I decline things constantly. Baths. The final walk being final. Moving six inches to the left. My explanations are brief because I do not provide them.

You, regrettably, need words. Try: ‘I’m sorry to change plans, but I need a quiet night. Can we pick another day?’ Say it early, and mean the other-day part if you offer it. That is plenty. Nobody needs the minutes from your internal committee.

I understand loyalty. I follow my people from room to room while they accomplish very little. But even I occasionally leave a room. Usually because someone in another room has cheese.

Your friends asked because they like you. They will still like you in your comfortable clothes. Stay home if you need to, and be kind about changing the plan.