My partner says ‘in a minute.’ Which minute?

Dear Still by the Door,

‘In a minute’ is not a measurement. It is a small story humans tell the person wearing shoes.

I have conducted extensive research from the hallway. A human minute may contain a missing wallet, one email, and a completely unnecessary conversation with the fridge.

Ask for a departure time you can both actually use. ‘Can we be out the door at 6:15?’ is more helpful than ‘Are you nearly ready?’ Nearly is where time goes to avoid accountability.

If this keeps happening, discuss it when neither of you is halfway into a coat. Explain what the waiting does to your evening. Leave room for an answer. I struggle with that last part, but I’m told it is quite effective.

My own approach involves staring until someone feels observed by the building. You have language. Give it a go first. You presumably like going places with this person. Give yourselves a chance to enjoy that bit.